Holiday Parenting Plans in Illinois: How to Protect Your Children and Avoid Conflict | AKL Legal, LLC

The holidays often bring joy, tradition, and a packed calendar—but for families experiencing divorce, co-parenting challenges, or custody disputes, this season can feel especially heavy. At AKL Legal, LLC, we see how emotional this time of year can be, and we are committed to helping families in Lake County and McHenry County move through it with clarity and confidence.

Whether you’re navigating a new parenting time schedule, adjusting long-standing traditions, or facing conflict with a former spouse, here are practical ways to regain control and protect your peace this holiday season.

What Courts Consider “Holidays”

Illinois courts understand that families celebrate different traditions. Parenting plans often include:

• Federal holidays (Memorial Day, Labor Day, Fourth of July)

• Winter break from school

• Thanksgiving

• Christmas or other religious holidays

• Children’s birthdays

• Long school weekends

If it matters to your family, it can (and should) be included.

Ways Parents Commonly Share Holidays

Every family is different, but here are the most common structures:

1. Alternating Holidays

Parents switch holidays every year—for example, one year with mom, the next with dad.

2. Two Separate Celebrations

Both parents celebrate the same holiday on different days—great for families who want to celebrate every year.

3. Splitting the Day

Each parent gets part of the holiday. This works best when parents live near one another.

4. Fixed Holidays

Some parents choose the holidays that matter most to them and stick with the same schedule every year.

Adjusting Visitation Schedules When Life Changes

As children grow, what once worked may no longer be practical. If your holiday or parenting arrangement no longer fits your family’s needs, it may be time for an update.

A family law attorney can help you modify your parenting plan while keeping your child’s well-being at the center. 

Plan Ahead and Set Clear Boundaries

One of the best ways to reduce holiday stress is to prepare early. A structured schedule prevents last-minute confusion and minimizes disagreements—especially when children are involved.

Many Illinois families choose to alternate holiday parenting time, split the day, or rotate every other year. Putting your agreement in writing (or following your court-ordered plan) helps everyone stay on the same page. 

Keep Communication Respectful and Purposeful

Conversations with an ex-partner can be tense—holidays can intensify this. Stay focused on the children’s needs and avoid shifting into old arguments.

Tools like email, text, or co-parenting apps help keep emotions in check. Always communicate as though a judge will someday read every message. That means:

• No sarcasm

• Avoid emojis that could be misinterpreted

• Stick to facts and scheduling

Minimize Tension for the Children

Unfortunately, some parents use the holidays as a battleground. If the other parent is difficult or uncooperative, the best strategy is to remain calm and avoid adding to the conflict.

Consider these steps:

• Stay child-focused

• Use structured communication tools

• Keep disagreements away from children

• Avoid negative talk about the other parent

Children deserve joyful holiday memories—not stress caused by adult conflict.

Create New Holiday Traditions

A changing family structure doesn’t have to mean losing the holidays—it may open the door to meaningful new traditions. Whether it’s a new outing with friends, a different meal, or simply decorating in a new space, small changes can help children feel secure and excited.

New traditions also help adults redefine the season on their own terms—not through loss, but through growth.

Focus on the Positives You Can Control

Holiday stress can cloud even the happiest moments. Focusing on gratitude—no matter how small—can help shift your mindset. Reflecting on the supportive people in your life, your job, your accomplishments, or simply time to rest can make this season feel less overwhelming.

When You Need Legal Help, cALL gRAYSLAKE, il atTORNEY akl lEGAL, llc

Creating a fair, workable holiday schedule can be emotional and complicated. AKL Legal, LLC assists families across Lake County and McHenry County with parenting plans, modifications, and co-parenting disputes.

If you need help preparing for the holiday season or adjusting your current parenting plan, call AKL Legal, LLC at 847-262-9888. Our team is here to support you every step of the way.