What Happens When Parents Cannot Agree on Parenting Issues?
Divorce and separation can become especially complicated when parents disagree about their children. One parent may want substantially more parenting time, while the other may believe the child should spend approximately equal time with both parents.
Disagreements can also involve important decisions such as:
Where a child attends school
Medical and mental health care
Religious upbringing
Extracurricular activities
Transportation
Holiday and vacation schedules
Parenting time schedules
Which parent has responsibility for significant decisions
Illinois generally refers to these issues as allocation of parental responsibilities, which includes parenting time and significant decision-making responsibilities.
When parents cannot reach an agreement, mediation can become an important part of the process.
Is Mediation Required in Illinois Child Custody Cases?
Under 750 ILCS 5/602.10, Illinois courts are required to order mediation to help parents formulate, modify, or implement a parenting plan unless the court determines that impediments to mediation exist. (Illinois General Assembly)
This is an important distinction from simply saying that mediation is always required in every custody dispute.
Illinois parents generally must also file a proposed parenting plan within 120 days after service or filing of a petition for allocation of parental responsibilities, unless the court extends the deadline for good cause or an exception applies. Parents may file a joint plan or separate proposed plans. (Illinois General Assembly)
A parenting plan addresses issues such as:
Significant decision-making responsibilities
Where the child will live
Each parent's parenting time
The schedule for parenting time
Procedures for addressing future disagreements
What Does "Child Custody" Mean in Illinois Today?
Illinois changed its terminology several years ago. Instead of primarily referring to disputes as "custody" and "visitation," Illinois law uses the terms allocation of parental responsibilities and parenting time.
Decision-Making Responsibilities
Significant decisions can include matters involving:
Education
Health care
Religion
Other significant issues affecting the child
The court allocates significant decision-making responsibilities according to the child's best interests when the parents cannot agree. (My ILGA)
Parenting Time
Parenting time refers to the time a child spends in the care of each parent.
Illinois courts determine parenting time according to the child's best interests. Unless the parents have an approved written parenting plan, the court may establish the parenting-time schedule. (Illinois General Assembly)
This means a dispute does not necessarily come down to choosing between "sole custody" and "50/50 custody." The court can address decision-making responsibilities and parenting time separately based on the circumstances of the family.
How Does Illinois Family Law Mediation Work?
Mediation gives parents an opportunity to work through disagreements with the assistance of a neutral mediator.
The mediator's role is to facilitate communication and help the parents explore potential solutions. The mediator does not represent either parent and does not make the final decision for the family.
Depending on the issues involved, parents may discuss:
Parenting schedules
How the child's time will be divided between the parents, including weekdays, weekends, holidays, and school breaks.
Decision-making
How major decisions involving education, health care, religion, and other significant issues will be handled.
Transportation and exchanges
Where and when the child will be exchanged between parents.
Communication
How parents will communicate about the child and share important information.
Future disagreements
Procedures for addressing disputes that may arise after the parenting plan is entered.
The goal is to give parents an opportunity to develop a workable parenting plan rather than leaving every disputed issue for a judge to decide.
Why Can Mediation Be Useful for Co-Parents?
One of the unique aspects of family law is that divorce does not necessarily end the relationship between the parties.
When parents share children, they generally continue to interact regarding school, activities, medical appointments, holidays, vacations, and other aspects of their children's lives.
A parenting agreement created by the parents can give them greater control over these arrangements.
Mediation may also encourage parents to focus on practical solutions instead of allowing every disagreement to become a court dispute.
However, mediation is not appropriate for every family or every situation.
When Might Mediation Not Be Appropriate?
Illinois law specifically recognizes that impediments to mediation may exist. In those circumstances, the court may determine that mediation should not proceed. (Illinois General Assembly)
Safety concerns can be particularly important.
For example, allegations or evidence involving domestic violence, abuse, intimidation, or other circumstances that make meaningful participation in mediation difficult may require the court to consider whether mediation is appropriate.
Illinois law also allows courts to restrict parental responsibilities or parenting time when a parent has engaged in conduct that seriously endangers a child's physical, mental, moral, or emotional health. (Illinois General Assembly)
If there are safety concerns, a parent should discuss those circumstances with an attorney and make sure the court is aware of relevant information.
What If Mediation Does Not Resolve the Dispute?
Mediation does not guarantee that parents will reach an agreement.
If the parents cannot agree, the case can continue through the court process. Depending on the circumstances, the court may ultimately determine parenting time and significant decision-making responsibilities based on the child's best interests.
The parents' proposed parenting plans can be relevant to the court's consideration of the case. (Illinois General Assembly)
If an agreement is reached, the parents' parenting plan must be submitted to the court for approval. (Illinois General Assembly)
Preparing for Illinois Parenting Plan Mediation
Going into mediation prepared can make the process more productive.
Before mediation, consider:
Identify the Issues
Know exactly what you and the other parent disagree about. Separating major issues from minor disagreements can help keep discussions focused.
Think About Your Child's Schedule
Consider school, activities, transportation, homework, holidays, vacations, and other regular commitments.
Consider Long-Term Practicality
A parenting plan should be workable not only during the first few months after divorce but as the child's needs and schedule change.
Gather Relevant Information
School schedules, activity calendars, work schedules, transportation considerations, and other relevant information may help parents develop realistic proposals.
Understand Your Legal Position
Mediation is intended to facilitate an agreement, but you should understand your rights and responsibilities before agreeing to a parenting plan.
An Illinois family law attorney can help you prepare for mediation and review a proposed agreement before it is submitted to the court.
Talk to an Illinois Family Law Attorney Before Mediation
Mediation can provide parents with an opportunity to resolve parenting disputes without leaving every decision to the court. But reaching an agreement does not mean you should agree to terms without understanding their legal and practical consequences.
At AKL Legal, LLC, we represent parents dealing with divorce, parenting time, allocation of parental responsibilities, parenting plans, and other Illinois family law matters.
If you are facing a parenting dispute in Lake County, McHenry County, or suburban Cook County, contact AKL Legal, LLC at 847-262-9888 to schedule a free initial consultation.
